Don't Panic

 You never know when what seems like an everyday moment will be life changing. Simple things that we take for granted every day. I can think of at least 2 times when what seemed like a normal conversation changed my life and may have even saved it.

The first was when I was graduating from 6th grade, and we were about to move. I was discussing my dad's plans to move to North Dakota with my teacher. She had lived in South Dakota and told me a story about how she fell into a snow drift, and managed not to panic, and dug herself up and out. Less than a year later, I fell into a snow drift and I remembered her story. I didn't panic. I dug. I survived. Snow went down my snow suit, and I was a good five to ten minute walk from home. I made it home and quickly got out of the wet clothes. Anyone who knows how deathly cold it gets that far north will understand the dangers. That one simple conversation saved my life, and Ms. Djonne will likely never know the impact the story had on my life. 

The second time was when I watched a TV show about rip tides. A lady told a story about how the wave caught her and tossed her around, and she remembered a story about someone else in a similar situation. She didn't panic. She didn't fight the wave, but swam closer to shore as she could. When I went to the beach in Mexico, I got caught in a rip tide. The wave would pick me up and slam me down. I drew a deep breath when my head came back above the waves and prayed. I remembered the words "don't panic". At one point, while being shoved beneath the waves, I twisted my knee. Somehow, I made it out, limping, and gasping for breath. The eerie part is that there were other people around me, and no one noticed! In fact, on my way out, the people I was with offered me a board of some sort so I could go back in the waves. I managed to shake my head "no".  I nearly drowned! I don't plan on ever going back waist deep in an ocean again. I will cling to the shore where my footprints touch the sand.

Often, life can be similar. No one sees us when we are drowning in things so big we are tossed about like a fragile glass bottle. Helpless to fight the rip tide that shreds our soul. No one sees and no one can hear. Life has a way of moving on about you when storms rage. At least, that is how it seems when you panic and lose sight of Him. There was a Mister Rogers episode where he talked about in disasters to look for the helpers. I find this doesn't just apply to state emergencies, but in our own lives as well. If we hold everything in, no one knows to open the message in the bottle.

Those of you who know me know I am an open book. I've led a rough life. My childhood did a wonderful job of desensitizing me, and yet it never prepared me for sitting next to my husband's bed in the ICU for 16 days. 16 days of being tossed about in the waves of a storm, I am powerless to stop. I could no sooner stop a hurricane. I want to shout to the wind to stop, but my voice can no longer cry out. 

And yet, there are people who are reaching out in many ways to support me. The nurses make sure I eat. It is so easy in a crisis to forget to eat, drink water, and take care of yourself in general. It is vital to take care of yourself so you can help others. Others have sent food, cash, or checked on my kids. My son is 20, so technically, isn't a kid, but it helps knowing he is also being cared for. Others have let me vent, made me laugh, and been a sounding board for all the chaos I needed to unleash. Making medical decisions is no small matter. In a way, the decisions scare me more than the ICU itself. How can I, the Queen of the Overthinkers, make medical decisions? So far, it's been relatively simple decisions ... 'Can we add this so we can monitor his vitals closer? Can we do a bronchoscopy? It will help us find out what is going on.' Easy, even if it's scary. I cannot panic. I must lean on Jesus like I never have, so that I can make the decisions, all while managing the household from 2 hours away. - I did come home tonight to catch up on things, collect mail, and make sure the kids had kept up on the cleaning. - They have thankfully, done a wonderful job. I touched things up and am with hope and a prayer in my heart, getting things ready for Mark to come home, even if there is no estimated date yet. 

When life tosses you into the rip tide, don't panic. Lean on Jesus and accept help when it comes. And when someone else is in crisis, try to help. Even if it's just a phone call, a prayer, or words of comfort. Small things matter, and you may never know the ripple effect it will have. As for me today, I will lift up my eyes unto the hills from which cometh my strength.